I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
