I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
