New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
