Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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