I'm going to jail i love you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
