Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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