So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
