NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
