Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
