how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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