Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
