Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
