Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
