Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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