Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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