i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just gift wrapped bread.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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