don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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