Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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