why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
