do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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