Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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