OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
