Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
