Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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