TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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