Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
