i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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