Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
