K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
