Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
