what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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