I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think I sprained my soul last night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
