Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
