dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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