dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
