its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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