then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
