Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
