I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize