I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
