grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
