Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
