You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
