you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
