I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
