idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
