Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.

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(519): i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there. http://tfl.nu/mjp7

Replies (145) Good night (4876) Bad night (1284)
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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew

Replies (13) Good night (677) Bad night (2564)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.

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(706): Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number. http://tfl.nu/7aw5

Replies (11) Good night (710) Bad night (3950)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

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(519): I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat. http://tfl.nu/eo6a

Replies (28) Good night (8060) Bad night (1027)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

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(609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5

Replies (9) Good night (980) Bad night (3096)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.

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(202): That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence. http://tfl.nu/ugku

Replies (6) Good night (2321) Bad night (1254)
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(914): View more from New York

The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.

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(914): The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients. http://tfl.nu/y7zq

Replies (5) Good night (2026) Bad night (664)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room

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(610): About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room http://tfl.nu/tujl

Replies (9) Good night (2144) Bad night (1395)
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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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(845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw

Replies (4) Good night (1829) Bad night (696)
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(845): View more from New York

I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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(845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi

Replies (8) Good night (1809) Bad night (582)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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(847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d

Replies (14) Good night (1910) Bad night (710)
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(818): View more from California

Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong

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(818): Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong http://tfl.nu/kuq0

Replies (4) Good night (875) Bad night (432)
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(503): View more from Oregon

A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?

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(503): A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong? http://tfl.nu/1dai

Replies (10) Good night (785) Bad night (481)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?

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(513): Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/9zj7

Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (391)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.

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(402): It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night. http://tfl.nu/0jb0

Replies (2) Good night (241) Bad night (499)

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