I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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