Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (49) Good night (20992) Bad night (1003)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical

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  (612): I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical http://tfl.nu/u7u5
  Replies (18) Good night (9497) Bad night (760)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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  (340): well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt http://tfl.nu/yxfk
  Replies (21) Good night (3388) Bad night (824)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.

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  (561): george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it. http://tfl.nu/x2j0
  Replies (159) Good night (6041) Bad night (2058)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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  (954): im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls http://tfl.nu/n5en
  Replies (13) Good night (6959) Bad night (1047)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

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  (404): It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning. http://tfl.nu/70c1
  Replies (14) Good night (5157) Bad night (1308)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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  (864): turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy http://tfl.nu/uoz8
  Replies (3) Good night (1142) Bad night (1236)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses

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  (303): I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/zlmy
  Replies (8) Good night (1584) Bad night (771)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.

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  (307): puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done. http://tfl.nu/58vm
  Replies (3) Good night (2231) Bad night (614)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

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  (781): My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days http://tfl.nu/zkdk
  Replies (13) Good night (589) Bad night (1234)
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  (818): View more from California

  I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around

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  (818): I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around http://tfl.nu/btrv
  Replies (4) Good night (457) Bad night (716)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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  (269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (521)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.

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  (519): We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars. http://tfl.nu/3me1
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (282)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.

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  (848): We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples. (848): A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck. http://tfl.nu/35ft
  Replies (3) Good night (1367) Bad night (483)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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  (832): No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even. http://tfl.nu/n3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (228)

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