Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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  (901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak
  Replies (15) Good night (546) Bad night (2330)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>

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  (302): she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to => http://tfl.nu/cnq4
  Replies (52) Good night (755) Bad night (10196)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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  (814): I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?" http://tfl.nu/d4r4
  Replies (120) Good night (1660) Bad night (4548)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

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  (404): "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made http://tfl.nu/y4iq
  Replies (23) Good night (800) Bad night (4637)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
  Replies (24) Good night (1822) Bad night (6729)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!

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  (802): But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was! http://tfl.nu/nt2c
  Replies (13) Good night (8668) Bad night (1321)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.

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  (920): Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven. http://tfl.nu/0uzd
  Replies (4) Good night (2029) Bad night (645)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today

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  (847): The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today http://tfl.nu/8pjx
  Replies (7) Good night (2711) Bad night (922)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.

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  (509): Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad. http://tfl.nu/dn7l
  Replies (11) Good night (2030) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.

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  (502): She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do. http://tfl.nu/zxpe
  Replies (19) Good night (2165) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

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  (304): Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY http://tfl.nu/auio
  Replies (6) Good night (1100) Bad night (400)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

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  (301): Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night http://tfl.nu/cuhc
  Replies (2) Good night (1252) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.

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  (501): I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary. http://tfl.nu/ro1x
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude

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  (609): I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude http://tfl.nu/hndb
  Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.

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  (325): She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her. http://tfl.nu/stpn
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (147)

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