SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
