He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
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it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.