I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.