How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
