Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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