She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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