Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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