i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She told me I should be a condom model.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
