she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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