you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize