just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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