i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
