Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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