He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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