I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
