Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
