dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
