Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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