I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
