idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
