I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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