great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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