i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
