69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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