she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
